We have a question on our online application that goes like this:

“What would you consider an acceptable reason to call out of work?”

The reason we ask the question, of course, is to gauge the potential employee’s attitude and overall approach to calling out. If they are someone who thinks it’s OK to call out because their uncle’s cousin’s niece has a cold or because Fluffy needs a mani-pedi, they probably aren’t going to be a good fit for our clients. In fairness, nobody we’ve seen has admitted to anything that off-base (so far!), but they have provided some funny lines over the past couple of years.

So, without further ado, here are a few real life answers our applicants have given us in response to the question posed on our application: “What would you consider an acceptable reason to call out of work?” For comedic purposes, I have left them unedited with most spelling errors intact. Additionally, we sorted the spreadsheet we got these from by this question alone and left the names off before we even printed it out. Thus, we have no idea who answered what and, to be fair, the vast majority of the answers were just fine (we appreciate ALL of our applicants!).

But, it sure is hard to resist sharing some of the funny ones on our blog!

Acceptable reasons to call out of work – Part I

(Our comments are throughout the post and will be italicized.)

 

From the ‘I watch waaay to much TV’ category

 

Contagious illness as per CDC directives

Broken leg / LOL or a gunshot wound?  (red flag anyone??)

There are a few. Death, being sick, and being held captive

 

From the ‘So, how often DO you plan to be in court?’ category

 

If you absolutely have to go to the doctor, or legal reasons

Death in the family, broke bone, court ext.

 

From the ‘That’s the spirit but you’re trying just a bit too hard’ category!

 

I grew up farming/working. Farmers don’t take sick days!

I work regardless but death would be a reasonable call in

Honestly there is none for me unless you are on your death bed

Coma or impending death

Being sick and when I say sick I don’t mean just a sore throat!  (Oddly enough, this is actually a pretty good approach!)

Baby deadly sick Grandmother and if I’m so sick I can’t move no matter what u make u get to work just be happy to have a job!

No acceptable reasons

Don’t call out

Baby being born or very close to dying. Nothing less

Act of God

Being dog sick  (At least they’re not saying because their dog is sick.)

Not sure I have never done it  (yeah, right…)

You better be dying to call out

Your dead  (Hard to argue with THAT logic!)

 

From the ‘just…. Wow…’ category

 

Limb detachment

Lost limb

Missing leg

 

From the ‘Super-Speller’ category

 

EMERGANCY

Family emerngie

Family emergenty

Family emergency’s

Family emergies or sick

Fervor

A deth in famliey

A VERY SEERIOUS ILLNESS, OR VERY BAD WEATHER

A bad econamony

A death in the family such as your kids or ammidiate family

Being sick where I am contagis to others

A family matter that couldn’t be avoid it

103 temp, throwing up or very sick, car blows up and cant find aride on some occurrences

I beter be ded  (or at least a decent speller…)

If u are running a temperature! Don’t wanna spread garms

Being in the hospital or a family member pasting a way  (sigh…)

If I am very sick or severe incriminate weather

 

From the ‘TMI’ category – (folks, this isn’t for the faint of heart…)

 

Sick like throwing up or caint get off the toilet (this one could have made the speller category too!)

Death can’t stop puking

If I’m throwing up and can’t move

If you are running a fever or puking

Throwing up on both ends

Uncontrollable bowel movements

Vomiting squirts or on death bed

Well just like Gatorade you couldn’t work with an upset stomach.

Being sick that you are constantly in the bathroom or having to lie horizontal to feel better

 

From the ‘Whuuut?’ category

 

Usually there isn’t one, but things do come up  (Yeah, just how often do ‘things come up’ for you?)

Something that is hindering you from working… runny nose  (Wow, what else would hinder you from working? A broken nail?)

Any  (There were a few who answered this way – needless to say if they were hired we questioned them a bit more than usual!)

Being layed off  (OK, you got us there.)

Dental so forth

Car broke down, death, or for  me my horses are lose or brke the fince but that only takes aminet so I never misss work I work no matter what I live by myself and no one to take care of me.  (Yeah, this could have made multiple categories…)

I do not know the appropriate answer to this question (This isn’t really designed to be a right or wrong kind of question, but this is definitely the wrong answer!)

 

From the ‘Please, oh puhleeeeze give me a job’ category

 

I just need to make some money my husband is not working at the moment and we need the money he is waiting on unemployment from his employer and have not got it yet…

 

From the ‘Juuuust a bit too specific’ category

 

To attend my mothers funeral

If my mother just passed away, but nothing else

6 to 7 inches of snow (So, 4 inches and you’re good, right?)

A cracked rib and a hospital note

 

And finally, an example of an ideal response (Again, most of our responses, to be fair, were actually just fine!)

 

Calling out should be reserved for true emergencies such as illness or family emergencies

(Exactly!!)

 

PS – Please take a moment to browse our site, particularly our job board. If you’re looking for a job in any of our coverage areas, you can apply by clicking the “apply now” button at the top of this page. If you know anyone who might be looking for work, please tell them about the opportunities available at AtWork Personnel!

Written by Scott Morefield

Since beginning his AtWork career in 1999, Scott has served as Staffing Manager, then Branch Manager | Social Media Manager, and now his current role as Director of Marketing. By night, Scott is a news and opinion columnist for BizPac Review. His op-eds have also been featured on the Drudge Report, The Hill, Fox Nation, Breitbart, National Review, TheBlaze, The Federalist, and WND, among others. Scott holds a bachelor’s degree in Human Resources and an MBA from East Tennessee State University. He and his wife, Kim, live in Bristol, Tennessee with their four children.

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