We have a question on our online application that goes like this:
“What would you consider an acceptable reason to call out of work?”
The reason we ask the question, of course, is to gauge the potential employee’s attitude and overall approach to calling out. If they are someone who thinks it’s OK to call out because their uncle’s cousin’s niece has a cold or because Fluffy needs a mani-pedi, they probably aren’t going to be a good fit for our clients. In fairness, nobody we’ve seen has admitted to anything that off-base (so far!), but they have provided some funny lines over the past couple of years.
So, without further ado, here are a few real life answers our applicants have given us in response to the question posed on our application: “What would you consider an acceptable reason to call out of work?” For comedic purposes, I have left them unedited with most spelling errors intact. Additionally, we sorted the spreadsheet we got these from by this question alone and left the names off before we even printed it out. Thus, we have no idea who answered what and, to be fair, the vast majority of the answers were just fine (we appreciate ALL of our applicants!).
But, it sure is hard to resist sharing some of the funny ones on our blog!
Acceptable reasons to call out of work – Part I
(Our comments are throughout the post and will be italicized.)
From the ‘I watch waaay to much TV’ category
Contagious illness as per CDC directives
Broken leg / LOL or a gunshot wound? (red flag anyone??)
There are a few. Death, being sick, and being held captive
From the ‘So, how often DO you plan to be in court?’ category
If you absolutely have to go to the doctor, or legal reasons
Death in the family, broke bone, court ext.
From the ‘That’s the spirit but you’re trying just a bit too hard’ category!
I grew up farming/working. Farmers don’t take sick days!
I work regardless but death would be a reasonable call in
Honestly there is none for me unless you are on your death bed
Coma or impending death
Being sick and when I say sick I don’t mean just a sore throat! (Oddly enough, this is actually a pretty good approach!)
Baby deadly sick Grandmother and if I’m so sick I can’t move no matter what u make u get to work just be happy to have a job!
No acceptable reasons
Don’t call out
Baby being born or very close to dying. Nothing less
Act of God
Being dog sick (At least they’re not saying because their dog is sick.)
Not sure I have never done it (yeah, right…)
You better be dying to call out
Your dead (Hard to argue with THAT logic!)
From the ‘just…. Wow…’ category
From the ‘Super-Speller’ category
Family emergies or sick
A deth in famliey
A VERY SEERIOUS ILLNESS, OR VERY BAD WEATHER
A bad econamony
A death in the family such as your kids or ammidiate family
Being sick where I am contagis to others
A family matter that couldn’t be avoid it
103 temp, throwing up or very sick, car blows up and cant find aride on some occurrences
I beter be ded (or at least a decent speller…)
If u are running a temperature! Don’t wanna spread garms
Being in the hospital or a family member pasting a way (sigh…)
If I am very sick or severe incriminate weather
From the ‘TMI’ category – (folks, this isn’t for the faint of heart…)
Sick like throwing up or caint get off the toilet (this one could have made the speller category too!)
Death can’t stop puking
If I’m throwing up and can’t move
If you are running a fever or puking
Throwing up on both ends
Uncontrollable bowel movements
Vomiting squirts or on death bed
Well just like Gatorade you couldn’t work with an upset stomach.
Being sick that you are constantly in the bathroom or having to lie horizontal to feel better
From the ‘Whuuut?’ category
Usually there isn’t one, but things do come up (Yeah, just how often do ‘things come up’ for you?)
Something that is hindering you from working… runny nose (Wow, what else would hinder you from working? A broken nail?)
Any (There were a few who answered this way – needless to say if they were hired we questioned them a bit more than usual!)
Being layed off (OK, you got us there.)
Dental so forth
Car broke down, death, or for me my horses are lose or brke the fince but that only takes aminet so I never misss work I work no matter what I live by myself and no one to take care of me. (Yeah, this could have made multiple categories…)
I do not know the appropriate answer to this question (This isn’t really designed to be a right or wrong kind of question, but this is definitely the wrong answer!)
From the ‘Please, oh puhleeeeze give me a job’ category
I just need to make some money my husband is not working at the moment and we need the money he is waiting on unemployment from his employer and have not got it yet…
From the ‘Juuuust a bit too specific’ category
To attend my mothers funeral
If my mother just passed away, but nothing else
6 to 7 inches of snow (So, 4 inches and you’re good, right?)
A cracked rib and a hospital note
And finally, an example of an ideal response (Again, most of our responses, to be fair, were actually just fine!)
Calling out should be reserved for true emergencies such as illness or family emergencies
PS – Please take a moment to browse our site, particularly our job board. If you’re looking for a job in any of our coverage areas, you can apply by clicking the “apply now” button at the top of this page. If you know anyone who might be looking for work, please tell them about the opportunities available at AtWork Personnel!